QVC gets canceled
by Prustrian Informant
Summary: We all know the barbecue-loving demons only watch one channel, the QVC. Takes place after the novel Sins of the Night. It's the Katoteros household nightmare come to life. HEY WE WENT M! um... we tried to keep the peace. sigh . Blame it on the BBQ sauce.
1. QVC Gone?

_**This is why QVC is NEVER canceled... And we thought Apollimy was the destroyer.**_

__________________________(muah ha ha ha)______________________________

Alexion was in paradise. Ever since he had Danger enter his life, his world had changed for the better. He looked around. Danger had been gone a long time... Maybe he should make sure everything was alright. He got up and left the bedroom.

The house was silent since Ash was over at Artemis's temple. Poor fool needed to just let Simi eat her. Laughing at the thought, Alexion entered the throne room where Simi was, surprise surprise, watching the QVC.

"She's still buying all that junk. Shouldn't we stop her before Ash goes broke?" Danger was sitting nearby.

"LEXIE!!!" Simi ran over and clutched him in a hold that would have killed any human being. "Tell your girlfriend Simi NEEDS her Diamonique! Akri lets the Simi and he said if the Simi wants it the Simi cans have it since that mean heifer goddess is keeping him at her ugly place."

I looked over at Danger, "It's pointless to try and keep her off that channel. Ash has spoiled her for too long. Go buy your stuff Simi, I'll keep Danger distracted." Simi squealed in delight as she ran back to her TV. Danger came over.

"I'm lucky the other one went to sleep. I was stuck here listening to Xirena and the Simi talk about cute demons and guys... Which if you ever not save me from again, I'll tell them to get your opinion."

"She's a demon, restraint isn't in their makeup." I paused as I recalled the countless times Acheron had said the same thing." Danger headed towards the bedroom as Simi bought another load of Diamonique. Women.

I followed close behind Danger, admiring her assets when a crash erupted in the throne room. Danger turned. "Should we be worried about that?"

"Xirena probably just knocked over something. Don't worry about it." I pulled Danger into my arms and we collapsed onto the bed in our room. Life was great.

__)(.)(.)(___

Urian walked into Katoteros. It had been bad over in Kalosis. With the Daimons rebelling after the recent attempt at recruiting Dark-Hunters. The soulless beings who spent eternity trying to destroy them... All the Daimons were pissed. Stryker was having his loyalty questioned... or would be if any of the others had the guts.

Walking into the throne room of Katoteros, he looked to see Acheron's pet charonte demon hitting the TV.

"Simi where's the boss?" The charonte turned around angry.

"At the Heifer goddess's place... Urine, the Simi needs her daddy. There's bad people on the TV getting in the way of her buying Diamonique!" I glanced at the television that she had been hitting. Across the bottom of the screen was a red bar with writing going across:

_The QVC is no longer available due to the loss of management and employees. Thank you for your support the last few years..._

_"Ash better get back quick."_ I looked at Simi who was already getting more and more upset.

"WELL? AREN'T YOU GOING TO FIX IT?" The other demon started to wake up as Simi started to yell.

"I'll try to reach the boss, why don't you talk to Lex about it?" I left Katoteros for my Minnesota place as Simi ran for Alexion's room. It was going to be a nightmare at that place... I calmed down and headed for my family. At least they were normal... besides the immortal beings thing. Besides between here, the Simi, and the Daimons... The family was probably the safest place.

_____)()()(______

Alexion paused as the door fell off it's hinges. Simi was rushing in before either him or Danger could speak.

"LEXIE!!! SIMI NEEEEEEEDDDDDSSSSS HER AKRI!!! MAKE HIM COME HOME NOW!" Something was horribly wrong.

"Simi, I already told you if Xirena likes a certain demon that's fine, but you don't have to listen to her talk about it." Danger went to pat Simi's back but Simi pulled away.

"NO! THAT'S NOT THE PROBLEM! THE STUPID PEOPLE ON TV SAY THAT THE SIMI CAN'T BUY NO MORE DIAMONIQUE!!! THE SIMI WANTS HER DIAMONIQUE, LEXIE, AND SHE WANTS IT **NOW**!" I froze as what she said sank in... They wouldn't have canceled the QVC...

Xirena came in after the Simi and plowed into him. "AKRI! THE HUMANS ON THE TV SAY THAT WE CAN'T BUY ANY MORE SPARKLIES."

"DIAMONIQUES! WHY DOES THE SIMI HAVE TO HAVE A SISTER WHEN YOU CAN'T EVEN GET THE NAME RIGHT." Both the demons paused for a minute before diving after Alexion who was trying to get up.

"WE NEED THE CURSED GOD!" Xirena yelled.

"YEAH! WE NEED DADDY! WE NEEDS MY AKRI!" Simi and Xirena started to pound on Alexion as Danger started to try and pull them off.

"DANGER CALL ASH! I CAN HANDLE THEM FOR A WHILE, BUT WE NEED THE BIG GUY HERE NOW!" Danger rushed to the phone as the two demons continued to yell. Hopefully the big guy had his phone on...


	2. Akri's Busy

_**I haven't a clue when my Internet will work again, but know that this story should have continued sooner. We all want to know if Simi and Xirena are going to barbecue Alexion. Personally, I really hope not... **_

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_**Chapter 2: Akri's Busy**_

Acheron was stuck. Artemis had made him promise to stay for two weeks in her temple. It was a stunning place. White marble floors and forests outside with a great amount of hunting available. If only the owner wasn't a cold heartless -----.

Acheron went out to the balcony. How many times had he used to sit out here with Artemis, when he had loved her. She had seemed perfect. It had all been an illusion. She was far from that. The front doors opened and Artemis walked into the temple. She seemed distracted by something.

"Acheron. Get over here." She called like an owner would a dog, and like a dog he went. She sat on her throne and pulled him down in front of her. She started to feel his neck as she thought about something. They remained quiet for a long time until she finally spoke, "Why won't you act like you used to. You used to like me." Yeah, imagine that. And wasn't she the one who had had him whipped way back when he had been human and in fact still did whip him.

"That was a long time ago." Artemis started to reach under his shirt. It had been a long time. And he wasn't going to repeat it. Not now, not ever. Just as Artemis started to reach a little too low for his comfort, his phone started to ring.

"I thought you told me you turned it off! Leave it. I still have you a few more days." I ignored miss high and mighty and answered.

"ASH! THE SIMI IS ATTACKING LEX!"That was different. Acheron moved out off Artemis's reach and keep his phone close.

"Put her on the phone." Artemis stood in front of him, fuming and getting more upset by the minute. Ash listened as Danger went back to where Simi was and he heard the scuffle continue.

_"SIMI STOP!" Danger yelled._

_"THE SIMI NEEDS HER DIAMONIQUE, THE SIMI NEEDS HER DADDY! XIRENA FINE THE BARBECUE SAUCE!" Simi was screaming as thuds sounded in the background. Xirena could be heard in the background as she tried to tell Alexion to bring the QVC back on TV. Apparently it was gone off the air. _

_"SIMI! STOP YOU'RE GOING TO KILL HIM!"_

_"SIMI NEEDS HER DADDY! MAKE AKRI COME NOW!"_

_"ASH IS ON THE PHONE!" The pounding stopped followed by some groaning and Simi coming on the phone. Danger was heard pulling Xirena off Alexion. _

"Akri?" Simi was upset.

"Why are you attacking Alexion, Simi?" Alexion was probably beaten badly.

"OH AKRI! THE SIMI NEEDS YOU! QVC IS GONE!!! HOW SIMI SUPPOSED TO GETS HER DIAMONIQUES WHEN ITS NOT ON THE TV?! YOU NEEDS TO TELL THE HEIFER-GODDESS TO LETS SIMI'S AKRI GO SO HE CAN TELLS THE TV PEOPLE TO PUT IT BACK ON!"

"Simi, I have to stay a little while longer. You need to stop attacking the others and I'll take you shopping as soon as I get back-"

"BUT THE SIMI NNEEEEEDDDDSSS HER AKRI NOW! THOSE PEOPLES ON THE TV SAID THAT ITS GONE AND THE SIMI NEEDS HER DADDY! WHY WON'T YOU LETS THE SIMI EAT THE HEIFER-GODDESS?! THEN YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT MEAN HEIFER!" Acheron tried not to smile as Artemis's face grew more angry.

"No Simi. You can't eat her. I'll be back soon. Why don't you decide where you want to shop and then I'll take you when I get back."

Simi went quiet as she thought about it. "Can we get some more barbecue sauce when we go?"

"Of course. Now-" Artemis took the phone from his grasp and put the phone by her ear.

"Your akri is busy. You can have him when I'm done." She shut the phone and threw it out the window. There was not enough medicine in the world to treat a minute of her reverse PMS. Artemis pulled him toward her bedroom and Acheron only hoped Alexion could handle the Simi a little longer.

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Alexion gathered his strength as the Simi stopped talking to Acheron. She and Xirena helped him onto the bed and the two left a minute later.

"Are you okay?" Danger looked him over. He was a mess. He was bleeding and his leg was broken.

"At least they've stopped. A few more minutes and I think I would have been out cold." Danger started to dress his wounds and he propped his leg onto a pillow. It was swelling. He was not going to be moving around much in the next few days.

"Do you think that's the end of it?" Danger looked concerned.

"Yeah, Acheron took care of it." Danger relaxed as she went into the bathroom to find more bandages. Alexion had been lying and he knew it. Tonight had only been the beginning. It never ended so easily. Alexion rolled over to the phone and started dialing. They needed someone who could handle Simi here and they needed the help fast.

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_**A/N: Reviews are appreciated immensely since they help encourage the adventure. Also would like to know if you can guess who Alexion is calling... hehehe.... It could be anyone...**_


	3. Demon Control

_**Csoh: Um... **_

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_**Chapter 3: Demon Control**_

Savitar was in paradise. Kalosis was a good distance from his usual spot on the beach, but Apollimy was here and damn. She looked good in his arms after all that intense intercourse. She was truly the destroyer. He started to get up and head toward the quick escape. If anyone found out about them, he was in deep shit.

He jumped as his phone started to vibrate. He looked at the screen to find it wasn't Acheron, but Alexion. He answered after a look towards the door. It was one thing to be here... Quite another to be caught calling people from a place he wasn't suppose to be at.

"Savitar thank gods you answered. We have a problem." Savitar kept an eye on the door.

"I never have a problem. And if you guys would stop caring about the humans you wouldn't either. What do you want Lex." He heard the sound of footsteps fast approaching the room. Apollimy was starting to wake up. Her white-blond hair in several directions. He needed to leave asap. He threw a quick wave at the goddess and popped over to Katoteros.

"OH, so you'll help us take care of the Simi. Good." Lex was covered in gauze and his leg was broken. He was going to be out of action for at least a month.

"No not really I came to see if free will would make Acheron finally put that bitch in her place. Obviously not." Lex was upset by this, but he really didn't care. It was either going to ruin the peace or work out fine. He wasn't going to have any downfall due to the demons actions.

"Could you at least tell me if this works out or not." He was getting upset and his wife started to reenter the room. Savitar threw a cold glance at the shade and went to his beach. It had been to close with Apollimy that time. Those daimons were too protective. An idea popped into his head as his phone started to ring.

"Savitar we need to do something about the demons!" Lex was getting seriously upset. Savitar smiled and threw fates into a new direction.

"Send them to Apollimy in Kalosis. I'm sure the daimon loss will be better for the dark-hunters anyway." His shut his phone and headed into the water, his board at his side, and a new turn of events coming in fast.

-----)()(-----

Alexion threw the phone aside as Savitar hung up. Danger splinted his leg and they headed to tell the demons to head to Kalosis. Simi and Xirena were in Simi's room talking about mating again. Simi jumped up as he entered.

"Lexie! Is Akri coming? He needs to take the Simi shopping." He cleared his throat and prepared to tell them to go.

"Actually boss says you can go and visit Apollimy until he gets back. He says it should be okay." Xirena frowned as the Simi jumped in glee.

"Maybe Akra can find a way to gets Simi's daimonique back. Akra has good taste." Xirena grimaced.

"The bitch-goddess doesn't have good taste." Simi frowned at her sister and popped out of the room. Xirena propped her feet against the wall and started to fall asleep. Danger looked at him.

"I didn't hear him tell you to tell them that." He pulled her into his arms and headed back towards their room. He flopped down on the bed, taking Danger with him. He ignored the pun in his head and pulled Danger close. Nothing was going to ruin this.

-----)()(-----

Apollimy looked at her new guest. After having Savitar's quick exit and Stryker bursting in her room, she had thrown a fit turning everyone away. But looking at Simi she decided to allow her to stay. Acheron was busy apparently up at that... in Simi's terms, Heifer-goddesses temple. Her poor son, he was getting hurt and all she could do was wait. Simi pulled out a bottle of barbecue sauce and turned to the grieving goddess.

"Can the Simi go eat some daimons?" Apollimy thought back to their intrusion that morning. She could have had so much more time if they hadn't have come.

"Just a few." The charonte demon cheerfully ran out into the hall, leaving the sound of chaos in her wake as she started to kill the daimons. Apollimy leaned back on her throne and hugged her black pillow.

"Grieving so soon..." Savitar sat down beside her and smirked.

"I'm assuming the Simi's visit is your idea." He shrugged.

"Just a suggestion. They didn't have to follow my idea. And now the daimons will be too busy to notice." Apollimy thought about her options for a second. Then she pulled him over her lap, placing the pillow on the table next to her.

----)()(----

__Stryker rushed into the hall trying to find out what was going on. The others were running out as fast as they could. There was an intruder, that was for sure. He pulled to a stop as he saw the problem. The demon that traveled with Acheron was in the hall and she was going to town on the others. Already there were numerous dead and others on the verge of death. The room was filled with the smell of barbecue as the demon roasted his fellow daimons. Something needed to be done.

He started to call for his special ops group. "SPATHIS!"

_____)()(_____

_**Csoh:So this could get interesting. The daimons are going to fight and Ash is stuck with Artemis... Hmm...**_


	4. Daimons

_**Csoh: ALRIGHT! SO I NEGLECTED THIS STORY!!! SO WHAT! I have another dark-hunter story that had a dark-hunter dying and I can't just go back and forth in seconds from one to the other. (runs off and cries) **_

_**(Twenty minutes later) **_

_**Sorry about that. I got some serious emails saying that I was mean for not writing more sooner. I was a little... well you get the picture. Anyway, I hope you enjoy.**_

_**_____________________________________)()(________________________________**_

_**Chapter 4: Daimons**_

Acheron waited at Artemis's temple as he enjoyed the break from Artemis's beatings. He needed to get back to Simi and solve the problem of the QVC being canceled. He leaned back against a column and watched a breeze rustle through the trees.

_Apostolos_

Acheron froze as he heard his mother calling to him

_This isn't a good time mom._

_Your demon is here fighting with the daimons._

_WHAT?!_

_She told me she was told to come here by you._

Acheron was furious. He hadn't said anything of the sort. He almost tried to leave when he remembered his promise to Artemis. He still had another two days.

_There's more._

_What is it?_

_Stryker called for his spathis._

Acheron's blood ran cold at the news.

_Is Simi alright? _

_She's fine. She ate half of them and the others ran._

Acheron felt relief wash over him. At least Simi was alright.

_Alright. Thanks mom._

Artemis strolled into the temple and Acheron bid his mother goodbye before turning to her.

"You seem upset." He would have believed that she was generally concerned if he didn't know her better.

"Why would I be upset. I just have a demon going berserk and can't do anything about it." She looked angrily at him before her whip appeared.

"You care more about that demon than me!" She pulled it back before letting it land with a crack against him. And she wondered why he didn't like her. Tossing the thought aside, Acheron resigned himself to her mercy. This was going to be a long two days.

___)()(___

Alexion pulled away from Danger as a knock sounded at the door. Urian looked angrily at him as he entered the room.

"You sent the Simi to Kalosis?!"

"She was going to kill us before Acheron came back. I didn't see you complaining."

"She's killing daimons!" Alexion rolled his eyes.

"Acheron kills daimons. Come to think of it, so do dark-hunters. Why should it be any different that the Simi is killing them too?" Urian threw Alexion against a wall.

"Because unlike Acheron and the dark-hunters, Simi is killing the ones who don't kill for the fun of it." Urian let go of him and Danger kicked him hard in the private. Urian went crumpling to the ground.

"Daimons kill all the time, just because Simi started to kill them before they killed humans doesn't mean much of anything. It just means a few more humans get to live longer." Danger helped Alexion to his feet and looked back at Urian.

"So because we were born to die at an early age we should be killed for trying to live longer." Urian looked intently at Danger. Alexion looked pissed.

"There has to be an easy way to solve this." Alexion looked to his wife for a suggestion.

"Get the QVC back?" Urian laughed.

"Yeah, I'm sure if we tell them there's a demon trying to destroy everything because it's canceled they'll just bring it back." Danger looked furiously at him.

"I don't see any ideas coming from you." He stopped smirking.

"Urian can't you try to get the QVC back up?" Urian shook his head.

"Aren't you forgetting about the whole can't go in sunlight scenario. I take one step into the sun and I'm toast. And I don't know about you, but I enjoy my shitty life." Alexion nodded.

"Don't you know some humans that could help?"

Urian thought about it. Wulf would probably laugh himself to death at the idea of him watching a shopping network. Cassandra... She would be too busy watching over her kids to help, although...

"I'm not sure..." Danger and Alexion looked at him.

"Not anyone?!" Danger sighed angrily.

"If only I was still a dark-hunter, I could easily get that stupid channel back on!" Alexion took the remark like a blow to the gut. Danger looked over at him. "Not that I regret being here."

Urian rolled his eyes.

Couples.

He turned and left the two to their own devices as he headed back toward Wulf and Cassandra's place. Cassandra was fast asleep on the couch. The children asleep nearby. Wulf walked into the room and threw a beer at him.

"Urian."

"Wulf." The former dark-hunter laughed and sat down to watch TV.

"I'm assuming your here to see the kids?"

"I have to ask Cassandra something." Wulf looked away from the television.

"What do you want." Urian didn't feel like being demanded from.

"It's not your concern." Wulf almost growled at the remark.

"Like hell it isn't. That's my wife your asking for help."

"And also my sister-in-law." Wulf looked ready to strangle him.

"I'll throw you in the sun." Urian didn't doubt it.

"I need her to bring a television channel back on." Wulf nearly choked on his drink.

"Did your favorite cartoon get canned?!" Urian felt himself getting furious.

"We have a demon destroying the daimon population because the demon's favorite channel got canceled." Wulf leaned back on the recliner.

"So what? I say we let the demon continue until the group's wiped out." Urian started to see red.

"WULF!" Cassandra sat up as she rubbed her drowsiness away. "Not all daimons are bad. In case you haven't forgotten, my sister was a daimon." Wulf looked away. "What did you need me to do?"

Urian sat down in front of her and looked up at her. Thank goodness Phoebe was from Cassandra's side of the family. "I need you to try and get the QVC back on the air." Sure enough the former dark-hunter started laughing his head off.

"The demon's going berserk because a shopping network was canceled?!" Cassandra tried not to laugh as well. The two kids woke up and Cassandra had Wulf take them out of the room.

"I can try and get it back on." Urian sighed and returned to Katoteros. Walking back to Alexion's room, Urian pounded on the door and opened to find the two necking again.

"I can't help, we'll have to find another way."


End file.
